Following the death of a loved one, families sometimes discover evidence of abuse, coercive control, stalking, harassment, or other harmful behaviours that were not previously known or fully understood.

Suicide is complex and often involves multiple factors. The information below is intended to help families recognise potential indicators that abuse may have been present and contributed to a person's distress.

The presence of these indicators does not mean abuse caused a person's death. However, they may help families identify issues that warrant further consideration, support, or investigation.

Changes in Behaviour

Many people experiencing abuse undergo noticeable changes in their behaviour, personality, or daily routines.

You may have noticed that your loved one:

• Became withdrawn from family and friends.
• Lost confidence or self-esteem.
• Appeared anxious, fearful, or distressed.
• Became unusually secretive.
• Stopped participating in activities they once enjoyed.
• Seemed isolated or increasingly dependent on a partner.

Signs of Control

Domestic abuse is often about power and control rather than physical violence alone.

Questions families may wish to consider include:

• Did someone appear to control who they spoke to or spent time with?
• Were they discouraged from seeing family or friends?
• Did they seem fearful of upsetting a particular person?
• Was their phone, social media, or online activity monitored?
• Did they need permission to make everyday decisions?
• Were they prevented from leaving a relationship or situation safely?

Emotional and Psychological Indicators

Abuse can have a significant impact on a person's emotional wellbeing.

Your loved one may have:

• Expressed feelings of hopelessness.
• Said they felt trapped or unable to see a way forward.
• Spoken about feeling worthless or like a burden.
• Blamed themselves for problems that were not their fault.
• Appeared overwhelmed, distressed, or emotionally exhausted.
• Mentioned being afraid of someone else's reactions or behaviour.

Evidence of Abuse

Following a death, families sometimes uncover information that raises concerns about abuse.

This may include:

• Threatening messages or emails.
• Evidence of stalking or harassment.
• Financial control or exploitation.
• Disclosure of abuse to family, friends, colleagues, or professionals.
• Diary entries, notes, or messages describing fear or intimidation.
• Previous reports to the police or support services.
• Evidence of coercive or controlling behaviour.

Escalation After Separation

Abuse does not always end when a relationship ends. In some cases, it may intensify.

Possible indicators include:

• Persistent unwanted contact.
• Stalking or surveillance.
• Threats or intimidation.
• Harassment through social media or technology.
• Attempts to control through children, finances, or legal processes.
• Repeated efforts to maintain control after separation.

What Families Can Do

If you believe abuse may have played a role in your loved one's circumstances, you may wish to:

• Keep relevant messages, emails, photographs, or documents.
• Record any concerns or observations you have.
• Seek specialist legal advice where appropriate.
• Contact domestic abuse support organisations.
• Raise relevant concerns with investigating authorities or the coroner.
• Seek emotional support for yourself and your family.

You do not have to navigate these questions alone.

A Final Word

Many families affected by abuse-related suicide are left searching for answers and trying to understand what happened to someone they loved.

Recognising potential indicators of abuse cannot provide certainty, but it may help families ask important questions, seek appropriate support, and contribute to greater understanding and prevention of future deaths.